


To Wash These Clothes of Mine

by OverlyObsessed223



Series: umbrella academy one-shots where people give a damn about klaus [6]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Burying a Body, Canon Compliant, During Canon, Episode: s02e08 The Seven Stages, Fix-It of Sorts, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Klaus Hargreeves Deserves Better, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Klaus Hargreeves Needs Help, Minor Character Death, Missing Scene, No Incest, Possession, Protective Number Five | The Boy, Season/Series 02, bc ew, i mean it's what we deserve i think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:00:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26409877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OverlyObsessed223/pseuds/OverlyObsessed223
Summary: “I see you’ve finally ditched the ugly uniform,” Klaus says despite Five’s intense warning look, but he really can’t take his brother seriously right now—Luther's large shirt makes him look so young that it’s almost weird. It’s like he’s getting a glimpse of their brother before he ran away all those years ago. “About damn time, Allison and I were getting concerned you would never get rid of that atrocious outfit.”“The “atrocious outfit” is in the dryer,” Five growls, and Klaus might’ve pinched his brother’s cheek if he didn’t sort of value his life. “It was covered in blood, and I have no other clothes, hence the shirt.”
Relationships: Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Klaus Hargreeves
Series: umbrella academy one-shots where people give a damn about klaus [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1890268
Comments: 17
Kudos: 700





	To Wash These Clothes of Mine

**Author's Note:**

> so i wrote this last night at like three am, it came from the image of five having to wash the one outfit he has and evolved from there.

Klaus can’t say he’s not disappointed when Allison and Raymond choose to bury the dead swede.

Sure, maybe it’s easier in the long run, but Klaus has always preferred burning, simply because it leaves less of a trail. Well, he hasn’t ever burned a _body,_ per se, but he’s always assumed it’s the same as burning his drugs or other illegal items with a lighter when the cops were getting too close to finding his stash. It’s never happened often, but it’s happened enough for Klaus to know that he leans towards burning over burying. 

But he gave his sister and brother-in-law a choice, and they chose to bury, so he’ll go with it for them. 

They get halfway through searching for the proper supplies before they realize the Chestnut’s don’t have a long enough rope to tie the body up with, and after getting a good look at Raymond’s panicked confusion and the clear upset on Allison’s face, Klaus heroically volunteers to go out and find some rope. It’s the least he can do because he knows that watching someone die for the first time can be traumatic to say the least, especially when the deceased was attempting to kill you and your wife. So he tells them he’ll be back in about an hour, which really means he’ll be back in three, and saunters out to his car, Ben on his heels.

Speaking of Ben, Klaus is still unbelievably pissed at his ghost brother for what the whole possession stunt he pulled earlier today, but for now, he decides to push the issue away, figuring they’ll have plenty of time to talk things over and air everything out once (if) the apocalypse shit is over and done with. 

Klaus is just trying to keep the peace.

So he plops himself into the front seat of his car, Ben sliding into the backseat where he always sits—he’s always in the backseat of Klaus’ car and the backseat of Klaus’ goddamn life. 

Klaus sets off down the road, at first going in the direction of the neighborhood market, but then Klaus remembers he has pretty much no money, and what neighborhood market is going to sell rope used to bury bodies with? So with a sigh, Klaus makes a U-turn, ignoring the guy behind him honking his horn because he just cut the guy off, and decides to go to Elliot’s place. Surely with Five, Luther, and Diego all living there, they must have some sort of body burying supplies—Klaus would be surprised if they didn’t have a rope that wasn’t meant for kinky situations. 

Elliot greets him as soon as Klaus opens the door to his house, forgoing the whole knocking thing because that’s not really his speed, and Klaus doesn’t find anything off about it at first until he realizes Elliot is covered in blood and dripping wounds from all sorts of places. It wouldn’t take a genius to realize the dude is dead, which makes Klaus sad because Elliot was a nice guy who housed his emotionally stunted brothers—that takes a _saint_.

Klaus waves in greeting before beginning his search for a rope or anything that would do the job. He thinks about asking Elliot where he might have something along the lines of what he needs, but it feels kind of insensitive to ask and Klaus does have limits, believe it or not. So he instead snoops around the place, with the only sounds being his own footsteps and Luther’s breathing coming from the bedroom, which he finds odd… where is everyone else? 

“Maybe he’ll have something in the laundry room,” Ben suggests after they search the living room and find nothing. “That’s a place people sometimes keep rope, right?”

“That is a fantastic idea, brother dear,” Klaus murmurs, not wanting to wake Luther and explain to him why exactly he’s looking for rope—today had already been hard enough without his pushy brother demanding answers. 

Klaus can hear the steady hum of a dryer coming from a room connected to the kitchen, so Klaus makes his way to it, stopping by the fridge to grab a beer because why not? Beer is gross, but if it’s the only adult beverage available he’ll take it. He gets to the doorway of the laundry room and searches for a light switch so he can search.

He doesn’t even get to crack open his drink before someone grabs his arm and catapults him onto the ground. 

“What the hell are _you_ doing here?” the familiar angered voice of Five hisses from where he’s standing above him, and Klaus can only stare because his mind has yet to catch up with what just happened. 

“Jesus Christ, Five, is this how you treat guests?” Klaus is breathing heavily after getting the wind knocked out of him, not moving to get up off his back, content to lie here on the ground—he’s afraid if he gets back up Five will throw him back down, and Klaus is tired of getting manhandled by his brothers. 

“You’re hardly a guest, Klaus,” Five scoffs, and Klaus still can’t see the form of his oldest little brother. “More like a home invader. Now, what are you doing here?”

“Can’t a guy visit the brothers he hasn’t seen in three years without getting tossed around like a rag doll?” Klaus says, groaning as he starts to sit up, thinking that the danger has most likely passed—though one can never tell when it comes to Five. “Damn, I would hate to be an _actual_ home invader robbing you.”

Five sighs, and in the darkness Klaus can see the faint form of a hand being held out to him. Klaus eyes it warily before tentatively taking it, allowing Five to help him to his feet.

Hm, maybe Five didn't actually get meaner. 

Once he’s standing, Klaus reaches over to flick on the light, not sure why Five was standing here in the darkness, although Klaus doesn’t understand why Five does a lot of things. He gets his answer, however, when he turns around and realizes Five is wearing nothing but one of Luther’s button-up shirts, which is so big on him that it goes all the way past his knees.

Klaus is smart enough to choke down on a laugh and is instantly jealous when he hears Ben chuckle from behind him, lucky enough to be unheard by the time-traveling assassin who is glaring very hard at Klaus right now as if daring him to say anything at all. 

“I see you’ve finally ditched the ugly uniform,” Klaus says despite Five’s intense warning look, but he really can’t take his brother seriously right now—Luther's large shirt makes him look so _young_ that it’s almost weird. It’s like he’s getting a glimpse of their brother before he ran away all those years ago. “About damn time, Allison and I were getting concerned you would never get rid of that atrocious outfit.”

“The _“atrocious outfit”_ is in the dryer,” Five growls, and Klaus might’ve pinched his brother’s cheek if he didn’t sort of value his life. “It was covered in blood, and I have no other clothes, hence the shirt.”

“Uh… why was it covered in blood?”

“Irrelevant,” is all Five is willing to say on the matter. “And by the way, if you tell another soul about this I will make you regret it, got it?”

“Okaayyy…” Klaus and Ben share a glance before they both shrug. This clearly is not a bear worth poking. 

“Klaus, you said you’d be back in an hour,” Ben reminds him after glancing up at the clock on the wall, tearing Klaus’ thoughts away from Five for a brief moment. 

“Oh please, we all know I’ll be back in two,” Klaus waves his brother off, but he does begin to search the laundry room for a rope. In the corner of his eye, Klaus sees Five raise his eyebrow, but he doesn’t question anything, probably knowing by now that Klaus talks to thin air all the time. 

“You never answered my question,” Five instead says, crossing his arms as he looks at Klaus expectantly. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, yeah, Allison has a dead body in her living room so I need rope to tie it up,” Klaus explains casually, because dead bodies aren’t really a big deal in this family, not when they were raised to kill bad guys. If they were back in 2019 this would be a normal Tuesday for them. 

“Ah. Yeah, there’s rope in here, the third cabinet from the left,” Five says helpfully, leaning back against the rumbling dryer. “Uh... is Allison okay?”

Klaus glances at his brother as he reaches up into the cabinet, pleased to find a whole pile of rope sitting in the cabinet. It’s funny how disinterested Five pretends to be when it comes to the safety and wellbeing of his family, but Klaus knows as well as anyone how much reputation can mean to a person. 

“Yeah, she’s fine, she was able to take the dude out pretty easily, at least that’s what Ray told me,” Klaus answers as he grabs the rope and pulls it down, grunting at how damn heavy it is. “You know, I like him. I think he’s my favorite brother now.”

“Fuck you,” Ben rolls his eyes, and Klaus gives him a petty smirk. 

“Well, I should be off,” Klaus announces, sliding past Five towards the door. “Places to be, bodies to bury, all that jazz. See you later if we don’t die a horrible death first.”

“Wait,” Five calls just before Klaus is out the laundry room door, and Klaus turns around and notices Five seems… almost nervous, which is a foreign expression to see on Five’s face. Still, he’s fidgeting a lot more than usual, hands seeming to itch for the jacket pockets that aren’t there.

“I can’t promise you’re gonna get the rope back,” Klaus says before Five can demand the rope makes a safe return at some point in the future. “I mean, it’s going six feet under and such, so…”

“What? No, I don’t—keep the damn rope,” Five shakes his head. 

“Oh… okay, thanks,” Klaus grins and begins to turn around again, ready to leave. 

“Klaus,” Five’s voice stops him mid-turn, and Klaus twists his head to look at his brother once again. There’s a grimace on his face as if he’s in severe pain, and Klaus is going to raise hell if he finds out Five has been hiding a bullet wound this whole conversation. “I just—I want to say thank you.”

Klaus frowns, unable to think of any actions he’d done recently that would warrant a thank you from _Five_ of all people. “Um, for what, exactly?”

“For being at the alley in time,” Five elaborates cooly, but the way he’s twitching gives away how uncomfortable he actually is. “I mean, it seemed like such a simple task, and quite honestly _you_ were the only person I thought would have trouble getting there in time, but you were the only one besides Luther who bothered to show up, so I guess I underestimated you.”

“Oh. Uh, yeah, it was nothing,” Klaus shrugs, ignoring Ben’s protests—Klaus getting all the credit for getting there in time can be Ben’s punishment for breaking the possession ground rules. “I mean, Diego said it was important so I didn’t want to let you down or anything—I know how hard you’ve been working to get us out of all these sticky situations.”

Five gives him a long look, and Klaus shifts on his feet. 

“Yeah, well. I’m also sorry for taking my anger out on you when the others didn’t show,” Five says earnestly, and the apology is even more strange than the show of gratitude. “You seemed to be having a rough time when you got there, and I’m sure my yelling didn’t help.”

“Oh, that? Yeah, I was just drunk,” Klaus lies, forcing himself not to look over his shoulder at Ben, trying not to think about how it felt to be locked away in his own body, not able to get out no matter how much he pleaded. 

Telling Five he was drunk just seems so much simpler, and it’s not even that much of a stretch, really. 

“I see,” Five slowly nods in understanding, but he’s still studying Klaus the way he does when he’s trying to get to the bottom of something. 

“Yeah. Anyways, I should go…” Klaus trails off, glancing over at the door, not sure if Five is done talking to him or not. 

“Alright,” Five says, but he doesn’t seem quite done with whatever he’s trying to say, so Klaus decides to stick around for a moment longer. “Klaus, you… you know you can always come to me if something is wrong, right? I know I’ve been preoccupied with more important things, but I always want to know if something—or some _one_ —is hurting you.”

Klaus can’t stop himself from flicking his gaze over to where Ben is standing. Ben is watching Five with an unreadable expression on his face, refusing to meet Klaus’ eyes. 

“Yeah, I know,” there’s a lump in Klaus’ throat when he tries to swallow.

“So everything’s okay?” Five is watching him like a hawk, trying to find one single twitch or flinch that could alert him to something wrong, so Klaus is careful to keep himself looking as normal as possible.

“Yeah, yeah, everything’s great,” Klaus grins, using every inch of willpower he has to keep his smile from faltering, hating how much energy he has to put into looking happy, and he wants to believe what he’s saying because everything is okay, right? Sure, he and Ben have been getting into a few arguments lately, but that’s all it is. Right? Nothing more. 

As he said, there will be plenty of time to discuss these _issues_ later. Maybe then he’ll tell Five about the possession and how violated it made him feel, and maybe Five will be able to talk to Ben and they can get this all sorted out. 

But for now, Klaus waves one last goodbye before leaving, hearing the beeping sound of the dryer alerting the user that the load inside is done, along with a faint “thank God” muttered from Five. 

Klaus gets back into the car, tossing the rope into the passenger seat, being extra careful to not catch Ben’s eye as his ghost brother silently gets into the backseat.

Yeah, they don’t have time to talk about the elephant in the room, not now, not here.

After all, they have a body to bury. 

**Author's Note:**

> i love comments jsyk


End file.
